


still love when love's passed

by veggiemom



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Eye Trauma, F/F, Non-Graphic Violence, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-14 23:52:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17518226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veggiemom/pseuds/veggiemom
Summary: Pink Diamond and the Pearl she first loved.





	still love when love's passed

Pink Diamond blows kisses to her Pearl when White and Yellow and Blue aren't watching her. It's hard to do, because White and Yellow and Blue are always watching her, but on those rare occasions where they aren’t, her Pearl gets sweet little air kisses. It's behavior that Pink has observed from humans down on Earth, to show affection, and Pink Diamond loves her Pearl dearly. Pearl returns those kisses with shy giggles, hiding behind her hands after she blows them in Pink Diamond’s direction. It’s so cute, Pink Diamond thinks, and she wishes that she could hold hands with her Pearl, like humans did with each other. _But that’s too far,_ she’d tell herself, _that’s way too far._ As long as they didn’t touch each other, they could keep getting away with their games.

* * *

 

Pink Diamond holds hand with her Pearl, when she can. Her hands are so much bigger than Pearl’s are, even though Pink Diamond herself is so _small_ in comparison to the other Diamonds. It makes Pink Diamond finally feel big, but that’s not why she holds Pearl’s hand. She holds Pearl’s hand because it makes Pink feel good, and it makes Pearl smile, and Pink Diamond loves her Pearl’s smile. When White had first gifted Pink her very own Pearl not many years ago, Pearl never smiled, frigid as Yellow’s Pearl and as unmoving as Blue’s, so Pink treasures the sight of it every single time.

At first, it’s just the brush of fingers against one another. Pink Pearl gasps the first time, and pulls her hand away, as if she’d done something wrong even though Pink Diamond was the one who first reached for her. “No, no, here, let’s do it again,” Pink says to her, and grabs Pearl’s little hand. Pearl bites her lip nervously, but her face tints an even darker shade of pink.

Always so cute, Pink thinks fondly as she interlocks their fingers to the best of her ability.

“There,” she says contently. “Now we’re holding hands.”

And now they’ve made what they’re doing a reality, but Pink doesn’t want to stop.

* * *

Pink holds her Pearl in the darkness, when White and Yellow and Blue are busy with their great Diamond Authority duties, and Pink is left by herself. Pearl and her play together, making secret drawings with one another, and then, once the playing is done, Pearl crawls into Pink’s arms, no longer hesitant as she once was, and lets herself be held.

“I want to stay like this forever, My Diamond,” Pearl says in her soft little voice.

Pink reaches up to caress the back of Pink Pearl’s hair, resting on one of the buns there. “Me too,” Pink says. “We should run away together. The two of us.”

Pearl gasps. She pulls away from Pink Diamond and stares at her with her wide two eyes. “My Diamond! Run away… you couldn’t! I mean… how could you? It’s just not possible, is it?”

They both know the answer.

Pink Pearl falls silent in a downturned look, and reaches up to cup her little hand on the side of Pink’s cheek. Pink nuzzles into her touch and closes her eyes, Pearl on her lap, the two of them together even in the harrowing silence.

* * *

 Pink Diamond kisses Pearl. _Pink Diamond_ kisses _Pearl,_ but it’s Pearl who is punished.

Pink Diamond screams, tears flooding down her face. Pearl’s own screams are muffled by White Diamond’s massive finger, so much bigger than Pearl’s delicate little body. Pink reaches for Pearl but is held back by Blue, who screams in her ear, _“What have you done?! She’s going to take away your Pearl for this!”_

“Please, White, no! Please, listen to me! It was me! It wasn’t Pearl! I did it!”

Pink was the one who didn’t want to stop. She was the one who started blowing kisses at Pearl. She was the one who held her hand for the first time, even though Pearl tried to pull her hand away. She was the one who let Pearl onto her lap, and _she_ was the one who kissed Pearl when White Diamond had been looming over them in the distance.

White Diamond’s long black nail prods at Pearl’s eye. Pearl’s noises are still obscured underneath White Diamond’s finger, but Pink’s are loud and shrill and sharp in the air of White Diamond’s ship.

“No! Please! White! Pearl... Pearl! _Pearl!_ ” She shrieks until her voice goes soar, and she’s choking on her tears, until she can’t see anymore.

She doesn’t have to see, though.

“Oh, Starlight… don’t you see? This is for your own good.”

The sound of Pearl’s screams, even muted, as her eye is shattered makes Pink fall to her knees.

* * *

She sees White Pearl around everywhere, like White parades her in front of Pink on purpose. In the stolen glances, she looks so happy. There’s always a smile on her face, even with her missing eye, but Pink can’t look too long at the empty shell she’s become.

The new Pearl at her side tilts her head inquisitively, one day, as they pass her by. “A strange one, isn’t she?” She says to herself.

Pink Diamond turns her head away.


End file.
